something daddy recently posted :)

Jamie:

My house is messy. I couldn't care less right now because I'm sitting here in absolute awe of 3 incredible examples of how life should be lived... Tells me this messy environment is doing something right:)

Maya, 10 months in and hasn't stopped smiling since coming home. She said her first word today and her first step is coming soon.

Julian, 4 years tomorrow and my lord what a beautiful soul... Kind, courteous and oh so intelligent; he's our greatest accomplishment thus far! He's beginning to become his own little self and his true personality is shining through.

Then there is Rachel...
I sit here in amazement as she nourishes Julian's brain by teaching him card games while nourishing our daughter (pumping but that in itself is another thing I admire)... She's truly the cornerstone of our incredible unit and she claims she couldn't do it without me... Lol as if she, not I am the one who won the life-partner lottery. Her endlessly kind heart and limitless love for those close to her are such an inspiration to me.

We got it good over here even if the laundry hasn't seen the inside of a dresser drawer for a month:)

little backer christmas

you babies will quickly learn how much daddy loves christmas. 

so we decided to mix mommy's Hey Stranger in with Daddy's love for Christmas! 

we made holiday boxes of treats for firemen working on the holiday. they dont get to be with their families because they are protecting us, so we brought some love to them! boy were they happy!

confetti cupcakes, brownies, chocolate chip cookies! oh my!

we made 4 dozen cookies, a pan of brownies, and 2 dozen cupcakes (and we somehow managed to eat only like 8 of those items! with 2 going to santa of course!)

here are some from our family bakefest!

my SonShine and me.

Daddy and Mumma

Mumma and Maya

thumbs up!

notes inside the gift boxes the treats will go in!

its getting there!

the note julian helped me write for santa clause. :)

just love.

just cuddles.

sister and brother. LOVE.

sister just LOVES brother. always has to touch him or cuddle or something. just smitten.

i just LOVE all you are together.

27 acts of kindness.

On twitter recently, a woman named ann curry called for action, and encouraged so many people to do 27 acts of kindness, one for each of those hurt in sandy hook.

While hey stranger came about before sandy hook, this incident has touched me and broken me, and it feels only fitting to assign a memoriam to each hey stranger we do.

Today we did 2: one was sending letters to newtown, baba helped color pictures with caitlin and lilah, and we send them tomorrow!

Then we headed to the humane society. Adoptions for cats are only 12$ right now on special, so we paid one of the adoption fees for a sweet ole gal named I will call "sweets". She's 11 and she is so tender and kind, I wished we could have had her. The next best thing is making her free for when her forever family comes looking to adopt her. And what a treat that will be for them both!
Ill be thinking of you sweets! Aunt kimmi will let us know when she finds her new family! :)
This will definitely be a tradition when we have more money to our name. But for now, God sent us today to help Sweets, and help her we did! :)

Thanks for being my partners in kind.
Love you guys!

somethings

you and daddy fell asleep together. :)

sneaking peeks at mumma!

loving on puppy.

lately, when i lay you in my arms to rest you will fight it, hard, until i start to sing "i wont give up" its immediate how calm you get :)

not the most flattering of me...but we need more together :)

my sickly babe

when you were real congested you couldnt sleep laying down, so daddy and i would sleep sitting up in the chair with you...four nights in a row!

holy smokes you are BEAUTIFUL. love those sweet lips :)

forgive me if some are repeats you are just too cute not to post a billion!

Stuffies!

ive got a couple toys left behind from my childhood and i cant remember a thing about them, so i thought id prevent this same thing and let you in on the stuffies im sure will be around for some time.

this white puppy makes you SO happy. you love him!you cuddle, pretend bark and just giggle when you see him. i got him for you at a thrift store i think, and it made your day! Baba fights you over it...but i think its just a phase :)

this kangaroo mumma and baby i got specially for you! it has the baby, which is you and the mumma which is me. the baby is perfect for your tiny hands. when youre older you can cuddle with that mumma one if you want and ill keep onto the tiny one...but anyway, just touches my heart when you love on it!

the bunny on the left is baba's; i got it for him when he was about your age, maybe a little older. he LOVES it. i searched high and low for another bunny JUST like it, in case it ever needed replacing. when i found it, i HAD to get it just in case. i also bought you a matching but different one, the brown and gray one on the left, just in case you wanted to be like Julian one day :)



this is purple duck. julian has one, and you do too. i took julian to the store one day, to help him get used to havijng a sistrer around, and asked him to pick outa toy for his new baby sister in my belly...he chose this...and when we found a second, we couldnt resist getting it for jude. matchies!

Tina Fey, a Mothers prayer for her child

"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. (my own note here, my girl, is body mod is all right...but please...professionally done, tasteful, nothing on your breasts, butt, or other private areas, make them meaningful and not just something you dig. ask about mine someday, ill tell you all of their stories...and the stories of the ones i have yet to get!)

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it's the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach's eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

(ahem, or water.)

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called "Hell Drop," "Tower of Torture," or "The Death Spiral Rock 'N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith," and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I'm asking You, because if I knew, I'd be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. "My mother did this for me once,"she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby's neck. "My mother did this for me." And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I'll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen."

-Tina Fey

:)

i wish i could take it away

i wish i could take away this last week.
wipe it away from history, from memory, from existence.
for many reasons which i will explain in a moment.

number 1: i wish i didnt have to tell you, or you find out. i wish that this didnt have to be a reality that infiltrates your lives.

ill be brief, as details arent important to my message to you.

my sweet beautiful children. you are good in this world. you are, as you sit right now, caring loving individuals. Julian - you earn money for your share jar, and you give it! to the human society for the kitties and doggies to "have treats and toys" or to buy sister presents for the holidays. you GIVE. you havent asked to use the money for you and i love that you understand we GIVE that money. you help me color pictures and cards for soldiers deployed overseas. you accompany me on various trips and you ask questions about the things we do for others.
Maya - you are so small, yet i see in you a growing good. your favorite things are pacifier (bebo), your milks, and toys...and you readily share them. you hold your bebo to me and put it in my mouth, you offer to share your milks, you give me your toys. i see in you a learning of "here...have this!" and im so amazed. i know as you grow older this will be cultivated into pure loving kindness.
i see amazing things in you. and it isnt just you. Yesterday Daddy dressed up as Santa and volunteered at an Easter Seals event for children with disabilities and those in therapy. He colored with them, talked to them, listened to them. He was their light!

the part that is hard, is that while there is good in this world, there is also bad. and sometimes bad things happen in such a large capacity that we hear about the bad things much more than the good.
turn on the news any day fo the week and you hear of the bad, the negative, the horrible...and every now and again something good will be highlighted, but the overtones are all tragic. its my wish for you that you only watch the news when its important...otherwise youll just get sucked in.

but this week, when some of the world celebrated the miracle that is hanukkah, there has been tragedy.
to put it shortly: a bad man walked into our local mall, and took 2 people away from their family members. and then he took himself.
days later, another bad man took 26 people away from their families, and 20 of them were little ones. and then...he took himself.
another man entered a hospital across the country, and hurt 3 people...but those people are going to be okay.
the how, the why...not as important as the fact that it is what it is. there is hurt all around us right now...and people are scared and pained.

i tell you this knowing you wont read it until youre older...but all i could do was hug you yesterday, kiss you and tell you repeatedly the things i say t you on a regular basis...you are my world...i love you...you mean everything you me, you made me a better person. you gave me life and before you i dont have many memories. you brought me LIGHT! and i know you will bring forth life and light to others.

I also wish i could just bring those precious ones back. all of them. i wish that i could go back to before this happened...and save not only those that were hurt so badly...but the one who did the hurting. id want someone to save them. id want someone to save this from happening. so much hurt!

i want you to not have to see this. i want to protect you. i want to make this world better so that when you are 26 and your babies are sleeping...you dont have to worry and fear and feel this heaviness about things.

i promise you, my loves, i am doing everything i can to give you a world you can believe in. im doing all i can to give other people hope and faith in humanity.
im living "Tikkun Olam" as best as i possibly can and im doing my best to raise you that way.
sometimes when you hear these horrors its easy to feel small and insignificant. but i promise you i will highlight the good in this world, even at the risk of being obnoxious. i will give you a reason to hope and dream and smile.

and i will do my best to raise you with confidence and happiness and love and morals and hope.
i wont waste my moments with you.
i will spend my days showing you light and love and kindness, and holding you accountable for anything less.
its hard to come to grips with things that happen these days. we strive to make sense of things that cant be made sense of. we want to find answers to questions no one should ever have to ask. theres so much hurt...all we can do is be light, so that darkness will be abolished.

this is mighty emotional for me to write, my loves. so i will have to continue this later.
know that all i hope for you is love and goodness. i want you to feel love and goodness, be love and goodness and give love and goodness.

i hope daily i can be that for you.

Wily baby :)

Today you removed my phone from the charger and happened to open the menu, an app, and then buy a groupon to completion. Wily little baby :)
You also pulled many things on top of you, and got into everything!
I'm smitten with your curious little self.

blazer game!

a good ole hanukkah blazer game! this will be our second annual hanukkah game! im hoping it becomes as tradition as mumma and daddy's birthday blazer game date :)

i love seeing the big blazer menorah and the rabbi and some others dancing around it to dreidel dreidel dreidel! :) (also i found really awesome hanukkah cards and a cool hanukkah puzzle on sale for cheap and picked them up for hanukkah gifts!)

you dont understand the holiday yet, and as you get older you will learn more and more about these holidays, Hanukkah, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and even others we dont hear about very often and you will forge your own way! im very excited to have deep spiritual discussions with you...tell you my stories and my heart, and hear what you have on your own heart. Im reminded of this:
As Gandhi famously once said when asked if he was a Hindu, “Yes I am. I am also a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist and a Jew.”

for now ill be brief in my words about my exact beliefs, but never hesitant in saying the Great One loves us...and gives us love and shows us love and is there. there will NEVER be a shortage of stories of His Great Love being showered uipon us. We are blessed and He is good! i hope that i Live that example in front of you EVERY DAY. He chose me to show you His love, and HOW to love, and to love endlessly and tirelessly and happily. and i am trying my dears!

more on that later :)

for now...here are some fun shots from the game!

you made a sign for lamarcus, one of our favorites! (and his middle name is nurae, if i forget to tell you...:))

you guys get really into it! you scream things just like daddy...but you truly know! you say "go get it! take it to the hoop! come on guys come on guys!" so so so cute.

 oh mummy and daddy love each other...and we love you!

 i posted this purely because narae looks angry.

 intentionally blurry :)

 my girl! and my boy!

:)

you do this CRAZY dance thing. you get very into it and excited...asnd its very strange like trance lol.

 awwwww my handsome!

 maya LOVES to look at daddy

 the only way i get pictures is if i do funny faces. ill take it :)

 THIS was unprompted. unsolicited. Julian just LOVES his sister and she loves him! she reaches for his hands and he loves to gve her gentle kisses. pure love. i just burst!

 the one up there? thats my FAVORITE.